


It's Called A Norråker

by ren_ascent



Series: Lonely Too Long [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: IKEA, M/M, puns so many puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-30 22:57:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21436093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ren_ascent/pseuds/ren_ascent
Summary: Dean and Benny brave Ikea in search of a new table.
Relationships: Benny Lafitte/Dean Winchester
Series: Lonely Too Long [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1545277
Comments: 11
Kudos: 60





	It's Called A Norråker

**Author's Note:**

> This is not a new work. This was originally posted in 2015 under my old pseud rippedoutgrace. The tiniest of edits (I think I added a comma...), but otherwise it's the same as the original. It was chapter 5 of LTL but is now part 4 of the series. 
> 
> I didn't come up with any of the puns. [That would be this hilarious guy.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7T2oje4cYxw/)

It’s been a long time since Benny felt such despair. Lying on the bed next to Dean, he can’t believe they would ever make it out in one piece. “Dean…”, he starts.

Dean jostles the bed for a moment, reaching behind him and then smacks Benny in the face with a purple throw pillow. “This was _your_ idea, big guy,” he grumbles. “I said no way. I said we should never have come in here. But no, you wanted a new table.”

Dean somehow conveniently forgets that he was the one who broke the table in the first place. The rickety old thing just wasn’t made for all 200 pounds of Dean and their very enthusiastic sex life. The splintering crack was all the warning they got before they were on the ground in a sweaty heap, lying amongst the ruins of Benny’s table. “Ow,” Dean complained, muffled from underneath Benny. “The table,” Benny replied.

“I’m telling you, Dean,” Benny tries again. “It’s called Bjorn-something.”

“Bjorn-_something_,” Dean gripes. “Bjorn-_something_ he says!” He hops off the bed and starts pacing around in front of the carefully decorated faux-room. People are starting to stare as they walk by but Dean either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care. Could be either one at this point. When did they get here? How long have they been here? Benny thinks Purgatory might have been easier than this. And less eternal.

Dean stops abruptly mid-rant, looking off to the right. “There it is.” He sounds wondrous, awed even. He takes off at a mad dash and Benny bumps into a couple pushing a cart trying to follow. He’s slightly mollified that the two of them are also fighting. Apparently going through the baby furniture section was a passive-aggressive move that he didn’t appreciate one bit, _Susan_. Susan doesn’t seem to really care.

Benny finds Dean standing beside the table that they decided on and to his everlasting mortification, he discovers that it is not in fact called Bjorn-something. The tag hanging off the table informs them both that it is called a Norråker.

Dean will never let him forget this. He holds up a hand, preemptively. “Don’t,” he says wearily.

Dean, however, is in a much better mood and sounds downright cheerful and he helps Benny push the enormous cardboard box through the store. “Hey, Benny,” he calls. “Do you see a bathroom anywhere?” Benny turns to look at him, opening his mouth to say they passed one a while back (my God, how long ago. This place is never-ending) and hurts his eyeballs rolling them so hard when he sees Dean holding a black basket in front of him. The tag clearly says “Bladis” and Benny doesn’t even want to hear it. “My ‘Bladis’ full!”

“Oh my God,” Benny mutters.

A few minutes later, Dean tugs on the box and Benny is almost afraid to turn around. “You just think you’re ‘Smarta’ than me,” Dean tells him and Benny snatches the ceramic dish out of his hand.

Damn it, he almost laughed at that one too. If he laughs though, they’ll never get out of here. Straight face, he tells himself. He’s responsible now for getting them to the exit and he’ll drag Dean out by his ears if he has to.

He hears something rolling behind him and he yells, “No!” without even glancing back. The exit, we have to get to the exit, he repeats to himself over and over again.

“Man, you’re really ‘Klampen’ down here,” Dean says mock-mournfully. “Wait! We have to try the meatballs!”

Benny never stood a chance in this place, did he?

Dean’s quiet while he munches on the meatballs and Benny breathes a quiet sigh of relief. They’re going to get out of here soon and they can leave this craziness behind them. “Hey, Benny?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re really hot.” He says it so seriously and Benny’s ears start getting a little warm until Dean pulls it out from behind him. A little wooden drawer with a ‘Komplement’ tag hanging from it.

“Stop,” Benny groans. “Please.” Dean almost got him there. But he looks so pleased with himself, grinning and laughing, making his eyes crinkle up in that way that Benny adores so much that he can’t really be mad about any of Dean’s stupid puns. He’s just the only one here with any self-preservation instincts and they have to get out of this place before it consumes them alive.

They’re nearly to the checkout line, filled with arguing couples, when Benny realizes the box is harder to drag for some reason. He looks back only to find Dean fifty feet away holding up a clock. “Benny! What’s the ‘Rusch’?”

“We are leaving, Dean!”

The woman in front of him in line gives Benny a sympathetic smile. “My wife does the same thing every time we come in here.”

Benny mmm’s sadly. This, he is positive, will be his and Dean’s first and last trip to Ikea because he is never, ever setting foot in this godforsaken place again. The woman must see something on his face though because she chuckles. “Well, you’ll be back.” She nods to the flat box holding their new table. “I hope you didn’t need chairs for that.”

Benny’s eyes widen in horror and understanding. “Oh my God,” he moans. “No. No, we’ll stand and eat. It’s fine.”

The woman laughs louder and moves up to the register to pay. Dean comes behind Benny and wraps his arms around Benny’s middle. “What’s so funny? I thought I was the funny one in this relationship.”

“You are,” Benny assures him, kissing Dean’s forehead. He’s feeling so much lighter and less despairing now that they’re nearing the end of this outing.

“Do we need chairs?” Dean asks him and Benny doesn’t even answer, dragging Dean by the sleeve to the register and throws a $100 bill at the clerk.

They end up holding the box with one hand each through the open windows of the Impala because _someone_ named Dean forgot the bring cords to tie it down to the roof. By the time they get to the marina and drag the box down the wooden dock, they’re both exhausted and Dean’s left hand is sunburned from the drive.

Six hours later, they stare at the table and the gigantic mess of screws and wooden parts strewn across the floor of the cabin.

“Did you read the instructions? _Where_ are the instructions? This doesn’t look like the picture!”

Benny groans and starts stripping off his shirt and shoes. “We’re done for today, Dean.” He grabs Dean by the waist and starts hauling him towards the bed. “We are going to bed and forgetting this entire day.”

Dean nods seriously and flops willingly onto the bed next to Benny, who has closed his eyes and refuses to look at the mess that is now their cabin. “Hey, Benny?”

“Hmm?” He feels Dean lean over the side of the bed. “No…” he says softly. “Oh no.”

“Will you remind me to ‘Bygel’ later? My hair looks a bit flat.” Dean drops a package of tiny colored pots on Benny’s chest and starts laughing so hard he shakes the bed. He laughs even harder when Benny shoves him off the bed and rolls over.

Facing the wall, he finally gives in to the laughter he’s been trying to hold back all day.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the end of the series! Thank you so, so much for reading. Hopefully Dean and Benny are somewhere still in love and doing silly lovebird things because Supernatural ended a long time ago, right? And they're both alive and well and happy together.


End file.
